9 Years And Counting
Gaga Over Cheesecakes and Peace Offerings
My bestfriend Javie and I have been going gaga over cheesecake this past couple of months. We have talked about it in our joint blog - bookishbeasts.blogspot.com and she had a post about it too on her personal blog - itsamixofthose.wordpress.com. She had also gone the extra mile and gone to pinterest to look at more pics of cheesecakes and recipes (weird ones like nutella and green tea). What's more, I have seen Myrna's cake pics on instagram from my sister's friend who I happen to be following on instagram as well. It was a photo I think of an outing their barkada (my sister included) had last summer. So, it's like torture to be salivating all the time and not having the means to satisfy my craving.
It was like "I'm angry, and you know I will be when you do this, but you did it anyway and you're not even sorry. Add the fact that you think I've gone insane, and you're not offering me anything as pampalubag loob, what are you expecting, that my anger will just vanish with a snap of a finger?"
I also had to point out that I wasn't on friendly terms with our friend Randy, due to the fact that he blatantly lied to me just to get Caye to a drinking session, making it seem as if it was a business meeting. He laughed when he learned I got angry at that, which pissed me off more. I was waiting for an apology of sorts, and it never came. Instead, he offered to buy the soap I asked him to buy the last time he went home to Zamboanga, to quote "para bati na kami". So there.
Having pointed that out to Caye, he immediately brainstormed for peace offering ideas, coming up first with chocolates even though he knows I don't like chocolates.
So we ended up with a cheesecake.
Tous les Jours sounded french but the website on the bag looks korean. I don't know. We passed this shop once in Cubao, and I literally ogled at the display. :D
This cheesecake is so-so though. I still want my Myrna's blueberry cheesecake, one of my top 5 favorite foods (as you will see if you visit bookishbeast.blogspot.com) :D This cake from Tous les Jours isn't as creamy and some parts are crumbly as if it's not a cheesecake but only plain cake. And I have no problems with a plain cheesecake, as long as it's creamy though out, but I would love if it has a layer of fruit in/on it. :D
Depression Bout + What Do I Really Want
I'm definitely crazy. I'm back with a bout of depression that I find I've been having since college.
Why do I feel like crap? Why do I feel so useless? Well, that is because I am. But it's hard to take that I am as good as someone who's uneducated and just roaming around waiting for alms. What's worse is, I think and know that there are uneducated peeps out there who have jobs!
I see people on the streets sometimes and wonder what they have over me that they can get jobs and I can't. Somehow that leads me to the fact that I'm seriously crazy with dozens of phobias and paranoias that hold me back.
Argh! I can't be absolutely useless! I refuse to believe that! But after all these years of not moving forward and not getting anywhere, the thought is starting to sink in deeper and deeper.
I have dreams too, you know. Granted, I am not the type to dream (actually I'm a heavy dreamer) but I'm not the ambitious type, never really was into long-term plans. And I concur that I'm really not a corporate type of person. I'm a free spirit, a nymph, a country girl if you must call it. Being in an office depresses me sorely. I like being under the sun, not that I go under the sun a lot if given the chance since I almost always sleep the day off. lol. But being out to weather sun, wind and storm makes me feel alive.
So what is the problem then? Well, I need to be doing something. Would going the non ordinary way be considered a failure? Seems like those who hold a degree are expected to be going a certain path to be considered successful.
I have dreams of being a laidback backpack traveller, and writing about my travels. It could be architecture related too you know? Depends if I find myself good at looking at structures and assessing them. Or maybe I could incorporate architecture with history and legends, that would be so cool!
I love to write. That is a given fact. Only casually, of course. I don't think I could churn out formal articles on a constant basis. So that rules out other journalism type of jobs I could get into. Blogging on the other hand is so much fun! Not that I can ever post regularly. Hahahaha. There's not much happening with my lousy life to make a story of.
Well, on a weirder note, I was also thinking that if I've started a family I don't think I can handle being a working mom. :/ (Told you it's weird) But a work-at-home mom sounds really nice to me. :D
Don't worry, nothing's set in stone yet. :D But damn if I don't make sense of my life soon.
Boys Will Be Boys
A few weeks ago I bought a new mascara, the first one I ever have, and was excited to use it the next time I went out. I even made a review about it on my beauty blog. You can read about it here.
So naturally, when that day came when I have to meet my boyfriend, I was wondering if he would notice the difference. I mean, I do notice it. But maybe that's just me, because I was too focused on it.
Well guess what? He was trying not to look at me (I mean more than normal, he doesn't hold my gaze long unless provoked) What, I thought. Did he notice and felt shy or giddy since I already have fluttery lashes when I used to have non-existent ones? :D
So I asked him if he's noticed anything about my eyes. And that was only when he took a closer look. Boo! As it turns out, I was wearing a pretty low cut top and he can catch glimpses of my cleavage (I mean my non- /almost non-existent cleavage). O_O
Boys will be boys.