Orchids in Formaldehyde

A couple of month's ago, my mom sent over a package containing "dasters" or maternity dresses for indoors. I was surprised to find a baby onesie inside. It took my breath away, left me speechless. I just turned around and showed it to my husband and he laughed with me, the kind that's a giggle / disbelief combination.

And then later he remarked, "Oh no, are we ready?" I felt the same way. Although I'm sure he's worried about the finances, I was worried about the upbringing. We would be responsible for another person.

It was a wake-up call.

I couldn't stop looking at it though. I couldn't stop holding it in my arms as if I'm holding an infant. Lol.

It seems funny, when he calls me over to the kitchen, I am bringing along a baby's clothing in my arms. I joked to him that in a few months, I'll be moving around the house the same way, but with a real baby this time. We'll be attached to the hip. Or chest-to-chest.

I love that the clothing is in green. I think that's a perfect unisex color. When we received this, we didn't know the gender of the baby yet, but I always thought I'm having a girl. Like to the point of claiming it. Like: "Desdel, start your baking business already so I can order from you those pretty floral cupcakes I saw on Pinterest for baby's birthday." That is why the floral pattern and butterfly detail on this onesie didn't bother me one bit.

But now... I'm sure baby wouldn't notice. 😉

I'm speechless. I just found out I've already got a good number of stretchmarks on my upper thighs and buttocks. I've been very diligent with applying oil on my stomach because that was where I was fearing the marks will show up since it is ballooning so fast, I forgot or didn't pay any attention to my thighs and butt. I actually don't feel like they've changed size at all.

Although "science" says stretchmarks can't be prevented, I still would like to think that I at least have tried. :( Besides, I still don't have any marks on my stomach, except for linea nigra (the black line running up and down the center of the bulge), so maybe the oil works.

Sucks.

I've never really told a lot of people that I am pregnant. And that's a good thing. Because have I told them, I would probably be complaining to them a lot about the miserable trek that I went through. The first trimester was a misery! I've heard a lot of women say they were done with the pregnancy at week 30 or so, I was done at week 11. Like, sobbing my eyes out, I-wanna-go-home-to-my-mother kind of done.

I was nauseated pretty much everyday. I go green from the smell of hot cooking oil, the hot stove, the kitchen sink, and I guess the kitchen overall. Since I was also very fatigued (plus the nausea), I didn't have the energy to clean which I guess added up to the horrid smell of the house (which really isn't that much - just pregnancy nose picking up more scents than usual).

We also had two dogs at that time - God rest poor Dookie's soul, I still feel so guilty because I kinda neglected him during his last months. They also added to the smell and the chores, although they're indoors dogs so they're not that dirty (except when Dookie contacted allergies/mange from something he ate).

There was also the [TMI] constipation. It was like hard work. Like seriously, it was like a work out just getting it done. I hear that's pretty normal for pregnant women especially when they start taking iron supplements, which I am now this second trimester but haven't had that experience again (yet).

And I should not forget to mention the abdominal cramps. It's far too common for girls to complain about them when they're on their periods like it's the bane of existence, but I didn't know it would still have an appearance during pregnancy. And by golly! How I wish I was just menstruating so I know that the pain will be over in an hour or so, and that the bloody business over in a week. No, this time I have absolutely no idea when and why it is happening. My uterus surely isn't contracting to expel it's linings.

I know, too much TMI. But that's what pregnancy will do to you I guess. Just the knowledge that people will be hovering over your open legs in a few months will desensitize you.

What else? Oh yeah, I lost weight when I was suppose to be gaining them. All the nausea/puking and fatigue don't really give one a healthy appetite. And fearing that I'm damaging my baby because I'm not giving it proper nutrition is enough to bring on the water works.

And I also had UTI. It's common for pregnant ladies to get them. I didn't really feel any pain with urinating and what not, but I had to take antibiotics for it and being a child that I am, I don't know how to swallow pills. :D I had to crush them into powder before taking them and chasing them with water, then juice, then candy or some dessert. I hurled them twice during that one week routine because it was just plain nasty.

Well, I'm over that hump now, thankfully. They say the second trimester is the easiest and happiest among the three, and I agree. I'm blissful. Not that it doesn't have any aches and pains, but it is so much easier than the first trimester. :D

And they say the third would be just as hard as the first, hmm we'll see.

I'll update you when I'm over the second trimester. ;)

This is the approved invitation design. This is only to be distributed on Facebook, although she hasn't posted this yet despite me having finished this a week ago.

I've made another design with a more pastel look, but they liked this one better.
For the souvenirs, preferably mugs or magnet, this is the design we went with. Although when they have decided to have mugs done after finding a supplier that fit their budget, I have to redo the design because the supplier said that a longer design is more preferable so as to utilize most of the printable space.


So this is how it turned out after editing. I've gotten rid of the duck and placed a picture of the celebrant instead. I kept the other animals in similar colors so as not to overwhelm the already colorful design.

Anyway, the mugs will be available for pickup this afternoon and I'm quite curious how that will turn out.

I will keep you posted. ;)

For those episodes of depression and social anxiety, and whatever dark episodes we are going through, it's lovely to remember this line from the bible. :)

We all go through some tough times. I think it's gotten overrated - the idea of constant happiness and good vibes.

If there aren't people who notice the mistakes, or what's wrong in the society, how is it ever going to change?

Is it not at the time of the renaissance when people started questioning about everything - what they believe, what they see, what they perceive? Have our scientists and mathematicians decided only to pick flowers and enjoy their moments in the sun or beach, do you think our days would have been very different to theirs?

If you think something is wrong in our society, don't turn a blind eye and pretend that it doesn't exist just because you don't want to be bothered with the negative vibes.

I once commented on an instagram "ad" that the photo was copyright infringed (not my exact words, but the online boutique is using photos of someone else's account to sell stuff that looked similar). Well, the account that posted the ad blocked me, saying prior to that that she doesn't want bad vibes on her account.

Well, thanks. I guess I'm the bad guy in that situation? Because I was the one who brought the negative vibes to her?

Let's just condone copyright infringement then, just to make you happy.

Anyway, I've gotten off course.

But then, what else is left to say?

Depression? Those moments when you think your life won't amount to much.

Social anxiety? The knotted stomach feeling when you interact with people because of foot-in-mouth disease, which usually happens 75% of the times you interact with people.

I Loved You At Your Darkest

Not that I'm inviting all of you. I just wanna show off this save the date card I made. I enjoyed doing this so much. Much more than planning for the wedding. :)

Talking to people gives me anxiety. Social anxiety, I guess that's what it's called, and it's a real thing. Anyway, because of this anxiety, I can't enjoy the process of planning an event because it entails talking to different suppliers. I guess being in the art/graphics/architecture/freelancing business suits me in a sense that I can hide in my room and do the stuff that I enjoy doing. Like this card.

We'll hire a planner for the wedding. We are in the process of talking with one and hopefully a deal will be struck so we can start with the planning of the wedding. I know I still need to talk to her (regarding my social anxiety) but I'll only have to talk to only her, and she'll talk to the others for me. :)

I'll discuss more about hiring a planner later. Back to the card. The card announces the important information of date and place which is necessary to disseminate to people because the venue will be some kind of a "destination wedding" venue. Since we have decided (I made a post about it) that the wedding will be held in Davao, most of our guests in Zamboanga will have to travel to be able to attend.

Thus letting them know early is essential so they can prepare for the day/trip.

Colors of the card and the color scheme of the event are powder blue and lavender because they are Caye and my favorite colors respectively. :) It's a good thing they look nice together.

PS. I haven't sent a card to everyone on the list yet so don't sweat if you haven't received one. :)